So, hello to whoever is reading this. I haven't written in a while and I can feel that slowly creeping into aspects of my every day life. For me writing is almost as important as eating. I have sadly deprived of it I lately ( on my own accord) and I feel as if I have been becoming weaker because of that.
Lot's of things have been going on in my life lately. Bad things. Good things. Life has been tumultuous. I don't want to necessarily want to elaborate on everything either. The bad things mostly stem from my own mind, my own worries- such as; what I am going to do with myself next year? I don't think I want to go to university just yet. I do think that I want to travel but I have stifling fear of being alone in a foreign country in dire need of assistance (although, that could be a good life experience). I am hoping this coming year I will meet someone willing to go with me on various journeys and adventures and such.
I've been starting to think about what is really important in life lately too. Here I am, in Canada moaning and complaining because I'm in a fight with my friends, or because the guy I like doesn't like me or whatever the present issue may be. I get mad at myself every time i get upset about such trivial things- somewhere in the world a teenager just like me can't even afford freedom, doesn't have parents to take care of them or a pillow to lie on and I have the audacity to complain because I work 3 times a week?! I've been really trying to put these things in perspective lately and give my head a shake and be thankful for all that I have. I should be happy.
I sometimes put my happiness on hold because I feel that other people deserve it far more than I do.. which is not true. everyone deserves to be happy, and just because someone isn't happy doesn't mean I need to deprive myself of my happiness and add to the unhappiness in the world. I say to whoever is reading this " You should be happy, you have a right to be happy, never ever sabotage your own happiness because at the end of the day you are the only person you'll always have." I try at least once a day to make someone happy but I have never focused on myself, and I should. I will now make sure to make others happy while being content myself. YAY.
One last thing; People are basically good. I have met some truly wonderful people lately and am pleasantly surprised.
